my 1 day of attachment at DSC!!!

yeah, finally i mastered the procedure of full smear!!! muahaha... was so damn happy. hehe... today was my very 1st day attached to DSC! been working in NSC for 3+ yrs liao & i still don't know how to do full smear?! wat a shame... today i think i did 4 - 5 cases of full smears, while loads of other are partial smears. not bad doing all the smears though i still dun understand the sequences of the frequency to do the lab tests. the most difficult part of doing the full smear, is finding the endocervix. so hard to find within the vagina, always like hiding up & down. some of the cases i even asked esther or li jin to help me search for the fornix. then i managed to see a case of transexual pt. she doesn't have the male organs but can see tat she went for a operation for removal of the organs. frankly speaking it is nicely done. u won't tell whether she is a man "previously". haha...

overrall DSC is a nice place to learn & work, get to learn alot of "sexual stuffs". lolz... anyway most impt is who u work with. was glad tat i worked with esther & lijin today. polluted me with loads "sexual knowledge" WHICH is meant for nurses to note. pls dun anyhow imagine, k? =p

weekend happenings...

another wk had ended & i spent my wkend finishing my last min assignment. haiz... as usual, always rushing everything last min. anyway now i got time to blog. hehe...

on fri, 28/7/06, had a small party at NSC. celebrating sis lim's bday. everybody was having great time even though it was only 1 hr of partying during the lunch time. glad sis lim enjoyed herself too. i really like working wif her during these few yrs & i could say she & i shared almost the same characteristics coz we r born under the same horoscopes, LEO! haha...



sat, 29/07/06, attended the NDP preview with his mom. my blockhead has 2 tickets & he gave to me & his mom. this yr is the last yr tat NDP will be held at the national stadium. was really fortunate to attend tis yr NDP. i like the performance, was so colorful, esp the fireworks. after the NDP, his mom & i waited for him to finish his work. he was assigned to look after the carpark. since when he become a car valet huh? haha...



oh ya, the best part of the NDP.... FIREWORKS!!! very beautiful & i got a videoclip too! =p



took a few funny snaps in his dad's cab when on the way home. both of us are mad liao! haha...

classes start again!!! hectic wks for me again!!!

start of the new module today, its abt patient education. how we teach pts & educate them... before attending the classes, i felt stressed becoz of the pre work assignment. so hard to complete the assignment, though there is no right & wrong answers. but 15% of the marks leh, seems very hard to score. today 1st lesson, everyhing sounded interesting. we are going to conduct a patient teaching among ourselves & feedbacks will be given by our gp. sound gd but only carry 30% & there will be a written assignment after all the feedbacks. tat sounds stress to me instead. anyway i guess we are going to have a fun times teaching each other wat we think we are gd at. i choose "how to cleanse ur face - the 3 impt steps" & "making of a balloon dog". still thinking which should i choose. hehe... anyway i will b quite busy tis 2 wks coz mon, tue & thurs for classes & evening clinics for wed & fri. hopefully can make use of this period to slim down?! haha... gotta slp now, Zzzz...

Make over for my blog!!! Lolz...

haha, a make over for my blog. spent a few mths doing it & now since he playing mahjong with his friends, i made use of the time now to finish the left-over. rather have a very own blog skin than using other people's skin. i admitted some parts are copied & pasted so no offences if i had copy ur work!!! damn... i love my blog make over!!! haha...

having a breakdown soon...

i am NOT a super woman & i am really really pissed off today. i worked until i think i'm going to have a breakdown soon or later. the whole day it seems like i'm the only one working. my nasty pts trying to find faults with me although its not even my fault. was really very tired, legs aching, back aching & for the whole day i didnt even go for a single second of break to rest or a slip of water for both my AM & PM session. i'm doing evening clinic today but no time to go for a break in the noon. Y? becos the whole day tat someone else went MIA!!! duno doing wat & when i found out, its not an impt matter at all!!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! pardon me for being like this but i really cant take it anymore!!! even since this person change statues, my working life really changes so terrible. i wonder when i will be out of this situation! i think i juz have to carry on like this till i really suffer from a depression breakdown.

evening clinic was light today, lucky for me. been working for 3 evening clinics, mentally very tired coz too much stuffs had squeezed into my mind. haiz... went home packing my stuffs before going to his place. he was having a bbq with his army friends but in the end being called back to camp to settle some stuffs. initally he asked me to join him for the bbq but luckily i din go. while waiting for my bus, i saw this disgusting woman beside me. guess she should be late 20s & looks like she is from china. there she stood, digging her nose in front of me. wat the heck? dig & dig & dig like the shit in her nose nvr ending. after finished digging, she went on biting her nails. pukes!!! wat kind of woman is she? come on, do all these fucking disgusting habits at home lah! STOP doing this in the public! so unpleasant... after i boarded the bus, she was still digging away. wat a woman...

YES, i finally know how to do full smear! =)

felt so slacking today, dun feel like working today. ytd was late for work. reached ard 0845 coz diarrhoea. sianz... was happy also becoz sis lim finally let me go DSC for attachment. i want to buck up on my practical full smear. i wanted to learn so tat whenever i doing my evening clinic, i won't panick. my 3 yrs working in NSC & nobody actually teach me tat. well, actually i seen a few but always caught up with other stuffs.

Then PM, Jin called me saying tat there will be a full smear ordered by Dr, asking me whether i want to do so i give a try. while doing, i felt so warm, was kinda nervous i guess. charlene even said my ears turned so red. hahaha... & yes!!! i finally finished the whole procedure although not very stable but i really felt happy for myself. hehe...

After work, had a gathering dinner with my poly mates. met up with mabel, sara & wingsee. jenny din make it coz she still wking late clinic. had a nice long chat with them & we planned for another gathering when sharon's baby 1st mth old. at least everybody can meet up. hehe... btw sara's wedding coming soon too so another "gathering" for the poly friends! can't wait for the day to come!!! =)

things are turning better... =)

finally he msged me, asking me out for movie. it was during my friday evening clinic. guess he got my meanings. though he didnt apolognise to me but i can sense he is trying to change himself. tat nite, we hugged each other to slp & i felt very comfortable.
the next morning, i was supposed to wake him for his parade rehearsal but i actually over slept!!! i set 2 hps for alarm & i din hear it?! wat the fucking wrong with my brains? i quickly woke him up, tout he will be mad at me & sure to scold me again but instead he gave me a gd bye kiss before he left for work.tat moment, i really felt tat he changed becoz of me. i felt so glad & kinda bad. so i decide to have a new start with him again! i love u, my dear blockhead! =)

i had enough...

again & again!!! y do i have to suffer from all these mentally tortures? y do i always be the one to make the 1st move? y do u have to keep me in the dark? getting LOADS of headaches & i really hate it so much!!! very tired & upset. i really want a break... away from work, away from certain people, away from watever stuffs i'm so annoyed of!!!

weird...

attended Jane's 21st birthday last nite, went alone coz no other taka ex-colleagues i can find but luckily i got alan last min. haha... actuali saw one ex-colleague, eugene but he with his friends leh, abit awkward to join him so i tried to make myself busy by disturbing jason, chatting with him & playing with my hp while waiting for alan to come. both of us left around 2130 after the birthday girl cutted her cake. alan sent me back to his place & he was not back yet. even since the cold war last week, we didn't even contact each other during this period of time & once again i made the 1st move to send him a msg. haiz... guys...
when he came home, he was like a roasted chicken!!! tat was due to his over exposure to sun during his training ytd. he is doing the rehearsal for NDP. at tat time, when i saw him in this state, my heart did ache abit. then we tok to each other like nothing happen before. haiz... we are always like tat after every wars. 1 weird thing is tat the feeling for tat friend of mine, started to diminish. its a kind of feeling which i would always like this friend to be my close buddy or mayb even i wan it more than a close buddy. anyway of cos we are still friends...

super dracula...

i am a super blood sucker today, think broke my own record for sucking blood within a day. today psoriasis clinic, didnt expect to hav so many pts for blood tests. cindy was on leave, i'm alone to run the clinic. my regular pts came in on & off & i worked like a mad dracula the whole morning. my health attendent also not ard so have to call f/g clinic health attendent. damn pissed off by her. i was busy doing the blood tests & she can sit there in front of my pt & me, either see me take the blood or chit chat with my pts WHILE i was doing the blood taking. WTF?! i didn't say anything becoz in front of my pts. then my phone rang, she answered for me. i duno who ask me to go morning tea but i juz carried on clearing the pts load. i was busy working away & she still can asked me y i dun wan go for tea & my khakis were waiting for me... HALO?! can't she see there are LOADS of pts waiting? i dun like to talk to her & i treat her invisible whenever i see her. at the most i smile to her only. at the 1st place i dun even wish her to help me send the blood specimens for me, i rather i send it myself. but today loads really cannot make it so i din said anything & kept quiet to myself, didn't tok to her much. she is the irritating staff whom i tok abt the last few entries. she is tat kind who is OVER OVER friendly tat will irritate the surrounding pple & she only wants her own ways to be done. really made me go insane. the whole morning, the phone kept ringing away, damn annoying. no time to answer also. & when i answered, alot of enquries from the other line. fucking pissed off, told them i'm very busy already & asked me do this & do tat. WTF?!!

PM, infective & paediatic clinic. work load not so bad but got a 2 yrs old girl for blood test. hate taking blood for young pts. very hard to find the veins & difficult to take. then its also very pitiful to see them suffered from the needle poke. if fail from 1st attempt, we have to re-take again. I HATE DOING TAT!!! when i started drawing the blood, the flow was nice but she struggled ard. the flow stopped & i only manage to get 5ml of blood. we actually need around 8-10ml. freak... i checked with the lab, they will try to do it but if can't, we have to call the pt to come back for another attempt. so i pray that they manage to run the test smoothly...

evening, back home. thinking whether i should give him a call or a msg... our relationship seem to have a crack. we gave ourself a period of time to cool down, to think whether we should carry on with our relationship since we are drifting apart recently. he said he still love me & he dun wish to lose me but i was juz annoyed with his very bad attitudes. he still remained the same after since i had tok to him & all the wishes i made for things to turn better, doesn't seem to work out. i'm abit disappointed too. yes, loving a person, u have to love the whole of the person but if tat person having a lot of weakness & bad points which u actually have to live with it for the rest of the life, i really can't make it... i mean if the bad points doesn't cause any problems, i dun mind accepting it. but for his case, its abit hard for me & i had been tolerating it for very long, juz to hope tat he changes for better. my patience is limited to the max, tat explained y there is problems between us. i hav been trying hard these few days to think, is he the really one for me? i really envied my gfs for having such a nice partner beside, although i dun really know abt their quarrel or conflict behind them but at less i can sense tat they are better off with their other half. should i give him another chance? another chance tat will disapoint me again...?!

Confusion, Loss & Depressed...

within these 2 days, i already felt so pressurised. been crying these 2 days & i duno wat went wrong. am i the one who started all these or wat? i felt so useless & upset.

ytd had the installation of the wireless network done. i was happy coz i get to use my laptop in the future, dun have to keep sharing the pc with my brother. after everything, i left to meet my bf. then my brother called & said he can't surf the web. kept calling until i'm very pissed off. he even hung up my phone coz he was annoyed! then i told my bf i had to go bk home 2 settle it. intending to stay over at his place but in the end, disappointed him. before going bk home, i had a quarrel with him again. at that time, i did thought of ending our relationship coz i really very tired of the things he did. nothing seem to change him from being better. back home, a big quarrel with my brother becoz of the access to net. y can't my brother call & ask the starhub? y i have to do everything myself? i was very upset at the moment.

today again, a quarrel with my cousin & brother because of the access of network. i was damn fucking angry with them! when the installation took place, i make sure tat their pc are able to access to the network before having my laptop done. & now becoz, they can't surf the web, they pushed the blame onto me. my cousin can't surf certain websites becoz starhub network actually activate the safesurf service, which means undesirable websites will not be accessed. so tat means she is surfing those undesirable & unauthorised websites! is tat my fault too for not letting her to surf those webby?

during my family conflict, he msg me, adding in more agony & sadness into my feelings. i was already very depressed & yet he... he told me whether we should split up for the time being since we started to drift apart recently. i really duno how to ans him, juz told him i'm not in a moody to think of all these yet. i need 2 cool down at the moment now.

recently faced stress from my studies, problems from my workplace, family conflict & pressure from our relationship. i felt very depressed now. my eyes are swollen, my mind is loaded with alot things to think of & my heart really sank to the lowest point at this very moment. duno wat to do, all i know is i am suffuocated by all these happenings recently. i need a break now...