i really need to see a psychiatrist... really in total depression right now... doll up myself & went out alone juz now, knowing that my friends won't be meeting me anyway... acting like an idiot myself, puffing away the whole night, torturing myself... i duno y i'm doing this... i really hate myself... doing certains things without thinking & in the end, got cheated... y people always made use of my kindness & cheat me? i admit i am too soft-hearted but all those bad people wants me as their target? being kindness to them really made a fool out of myself... i am not firm enough to defend all these from happening... fcuk... cheat me all u want!!! u guys won't get a good ending!!! felt cheated...
i am really a dumb & useless gal... tout of self-inflicting came to my mind again... should i....?
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